its better if i dont.

I cant live without frens. My essence of life.

I've been awfully lonely these days..
Smth happened last night.
Im single.
Waahhaa haa.
Nth for me to worry about.

Im dont have any close frens in class.
Except cheehow.
but didnt really talk.
Sometimes i ask myself: Am i happy?
most of the time i cant ans that question.

i've been best frens with her since sec 1.
now that we are in sec 3.. different class.
i feel that we are getting further apart.
i spent every recess with her.

i was thinking, if she was absent from sch, who will i be with?
no one came to my mind.
i used to hang out with evelyn and yincheng when she didnt come.
but now?
i dun think so ba.

we've been talking lesser and lesser these days.
mostly its silence or her crapping with cheehow.

i DO know that he's her guy best fren.
but i dun think that she knows that i feel like a piece of FUCKING glass when she craps with cheehow.

im taking all of this.
and having no real frens in my class.
I realise that lonely is not just a word.

he used to walk me home.
and i ALWAYS felt irritated.
but today i walked home alone.
and i hated every single second of it.

judging from how everyone's treating me these days,
it seems like im a FUCKING outcast now.

i had dinner today with aaron cheehow brandon yixiang.
i asked brandon to treat me dinner.
well, i've treated him a few times and i didnt have enough $ on me.
then aaron was like saying stuff that totally hurt my feelings la.
Did he have to say that!?
im just right in front of him!

then brandon said: "cuz she treat me before ma"
that's worse.
its like he's returning a favour.
wtf.


"no one said surviving is easy"
that's damn true.

sometimes i think.
its better if i dont.