Help

Yes. I love him. I really do. 

However, there are just some things that i wish that he'll do. Or not do. 

But im afraid to tell him. 

Im afraid he'll be angry, and leave me. 

Leave me standing there alone.. 

Just like he once did. 

I wish that he'll hug me. 

Not that he doesnt hug me.

But i mean those kind where he'll wrap his arms around my shoulder and bring me closer to him. 

I mean those kind of hugs, that makes you feel like you're protected from all the bad things in the world. Those kind of hugs that makes you feel...safe. 

I feel like im being taken granted for. Because he doesnt give a hoot about what i do or about my day or anything. 

Normally, when you're in love, you'll want to know everything about that person, no? 

And he doesnt get jealous. Never. 

Im always upset about this because a little jealously shows that you care much for that person. No matter how much trust there is. 

Im always upset, just that shove this feeling of mine aside most of the time. 

A little jealousy on his part will tell me that he still cares about me, and is possessive over me. That im just his and his alone. 

But i never felt it. Never. 

And how i long for it. 

Im afraid, that one day, i couldnt stand the coldness from him anymore, and respond to someone else's warmth. 

He isnt always cold, of course. 

Just 70% of the time.  

AND he throws tantrums. 

I'd always have to pacify him, apologise for all the things under the sun, and cry for him to forgive me. 

But really, im getting tired of giving in to him all the time. 

I want to be pampered. To be spoiled by him. 

Not the other way around all the time. 

I cant bear to lose him though. 

Thats why i couldnt say all these to him. 

I cant. 

Im afraid to. 

Someone help me.